Sunday, August 8, 2010

Train up a child



I realized fairly early in Amy's life that she had Opinions. 


When I wanted her to sleep, she wanted to play. When I wanted her to eat, she was full. If I gave her peaches, she wanted squash. This is not to say she was stubborn . . . exactly. But she had Opinions, and was not easily swayed. This was the process of getting to know the very real personality inside this small person that did not yet talk, or walk, and smelled of milk and powder. It was delightful. 


Aww. 

One day when Amy was 10 months old, I picked up her brown stuffed dog, and made it bark for her. Her eyes lit up and she gave a great belly laugh. I didn't know it then, but Amy had found her first passion in life. Dogs. It was an epiphany. 


Amy the Dalmatian. Santa Barbara 1992.


In the coming years, Amy spent a lot of time learning all about dogs, reading dog stories, creating dog songs, and generally being a dog. I mean really, she was a dog. She was a four year old method actor: Completely immersed. She drove her Sunday School and preschool teachers to distraction by insisting she actually was a dog. A few tried to argue her out of it. Needless to say, Amy loved this, and never gave an inch. Others viewed it as pure disobedience. Amy most decidedly did not love this - and again, never gave an inch. Strong will was (and is) an understatement when it comes to Amy. 


"I am a sintist." No, not a sin-tist, but a scientist.



Amy as Martin the Warrior (from Brian Jacques' Redwall series). 
She made the sword and shield. And  yes, I still have them. 


I'll be the first to say that Amy was, ahem, a challenge during the early years. But we loved her imagination and were so curious to see where it would lead her. She taught herself to read at three, to type at four, and constantly produced stories, drawings, and songs. God made her to be a passionate, imaginative, and intelligent person - it wasn't our idea, it was His. Our job was to train her up in the way she should go. It wasn't easy, and it isn't finished yet. 


Amy tried, but Goldie never did learn to read.


If you are a parent, an aunt, a grandma, or a close family friend of a child who is "more" - more demanding, more imaginative, more creative, more emotional, more intense than the average child (if there is such a thing as average), listen to their heart. Who did God create them to be? Encourage it. Train them in it. Help them with it. This is where the promise lies:


Train up a child up in the way he should go, and even when he is old he will not depart from it.   Proverbs 22:6

Most people read this passage with an emphasis on the word "should" instead of on "he." As if we, the parents, get to decide the way our children should go. But they are not ours, are they? They are His. 


Celebrate those opinionated babies. Encourage those strong willed children. The promise is not for an easy road, but for a child who grows up with a solid identity rooted in Christ, not merely in the dreams of their parents. 


College sophomore Amy. The writer.

3 comments:

Bobbi said...

Thank you...this made me cry...and gave me much encouragement!

Christina said...

I LOVE this post!! Praise God that He doesn't make us all the same. And praise God for parents like you who realize that. :-) I hope I am one of those parents someday.

Cheryl said...

Thanks Bobbi and Christina!

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