Thursday, May 20, 2010

The same but different.

On a recent trip to California, Mark and I slipped away for a day at Disneyland, just the two of us.


I think just about everyone likes Disneyland, but Mark really, really likes Disneyland. When I met him, he was working at Disneyland during his freshman year of college, and our first date was at the Happiest Place on Earth. After all, we got in free, and the popcorn was cheap! On that first date we ate at the Stage Door Cafe and sat for a long time just talking and talking. We ate there again on this visit, just for fun, and we still had things to talk about.


Disneyland has changed so much since those days. Mark worked there for seven years in the 80's before finally quitting to complete his doctoral dissertation. The prices have obviously changed. In 1982, one day entrance to the park was $12, popcorn was less than a dollar, and balloons were maybe $1.25 Today, a single ticket to the park for one day will run you $62, and $87 will get you a park-hopper pass. The immense parking lot where Mark and I once lost our car in a rainstorm and ran splashing through puddles searching for it, is now California Adventures and you park in a huge parking garage.


Even though the park has gone through several reincarnations in the intervening 27 years, it is amazing how much remains the same. You can still sit at Coke Corner and listen to the piano player (and I think it's the same guy - is that possible?). The Merry Go Round and the Dumbo ride are still there. Kids still get to try their hand at pulling out the sword in front of the carousel. The Dapper Dans are still singing, and you can still buy a balloon, popcorn, and absurdly large suckers. What could be better?


And I suppose that Mark and I, in the intervening 27 years, have both changed and stayed the same as well. We're older, of course. We don't look substantially different, except for a few extra pounds and wrinkles, and yet we are different. Youthful optimism has been replaced by grateful hope. The passionate faith of our twenties has become the thoughtful, committed faith of our middle age.The butterflies in the stomach love of our courtship has become the deeper, focused love of years and has raised a daughter.  We are still nerds of the first order, only now we know it. We've gone from believing we can do anything to being assured that alone we are powerless. Who we have become is, I suppose, both surprising and predictable. After all, who can imagine how life's losses and trials will change and sculpt them through their 20's, 30's, and 40's? We lost unborn babies, a father, jobs, naivete, and nearly a home. We gained a daughter, resilience, some wisdom, and hope.


Our first date was at Disneyland in 1979 and our honeymoon was at Disneyworld in 1983. Our 20th anniversary was at Disneyworld with our daughter, and our 25th was at Disneyworld, just the two of us. You'd never know, seeing us now, how much it concerned me to marry a man who had a Disney collection. I mean, it just wasn't done! But now I hope that our 50th anniversary will be spent at Disneyland. I hope they have dancing there that day, because in our twenties I wouldn't dance when Mark wanted to. We would stand to the side and watch the elderly couples cutting up the dance floor with their glittery dresses and leisure suits. But you know what?  I'm going to learn how to dance and then we will be the cute old couple on the dance floor . . .  when we are 71 and our years together are 50.

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